Digital Diary | The Strong Black Woman w/ Charlene Izere

January was giving seasonal depression, it was giving chaos, it was giving the need to change. I tried to do a “reset” about 3 times but honestly, they felt like false starts because I’m still struggling, which is totally okay. And don’t get me wrong, because of my mom and her ancestors, I am resilient, I am strong, and while I love that about me there’s more to life than being the strong Black woman.

This is one of the reasons why I struggle with depression and anxiety. When I’m resilient and strong, there is no room for anything else. No room for peace, no room for ease.

Operation Soft Black Woman

As we enter Black History Month, I think about the incredibly resilient Black women that came before me and I’m inspired, but at the same time, I don’t want to be resilient. I don’t want to be strong. While I inherited resiliency, it will not become my daughter’s birthright.

I desire to be in an era of my life where I’m soft, and I want my daughter to see that. Throughout the struggly days of January, it became crystal clear to me that I do not want to be the strong Black woman anymore because simply put, I’m so exhausted.

It’s time to do something about it. I’m ready to get my sh*t together, so this is my game plan for operation Soft Black Woman.

Changing my Habits to Create a Better Version of Me

I hear all the time about how habits make up your life, and how habits shape your mental health, so I’m going to be consistent with habits that I’d like to make part of my routine to help me embody the soft version of me, the version of me that is thriving.

This is what I’m committing to do for the sake of my mental health for the next 21 days.

1. 30 min a day outside – If I’m not recording videos throughout my house, I’m typically at my desk working and sedentary is not a vibe so we’re committing to going outside regardless of how cold.
2. 1 day off – I have no work-life balance. I don’t know when that happened, but somewhere along the way, I’ve found myself working 24/7 and feeling anxious when I’m not working. This has led to a cycle of burnout. My body is starting to feel the physical effects of this unhealthy work/life balance so we need to do better.
3. Therapy once a week – I have not been consistent with my therapist, but it’s time to make her my bestie because I can’t do this alone lol
4. Keep my office vibey – When I’m in the depths of my depression, my environment tends to reflect that, which is compounded by having an almost 2-year-old. I’m okay with the house becoming her play castle as long as it looks vibey, and for me, that starts with my office. Surrounds dictate needs, and my office must give tidy and lux if I want to operate at 100.

2023 is our year to embody the healthiest version of us

If 2023 didn’t start off the way you expected, I see you. If you are struggling with your mental health, I feel you. If you want to get your sh*t together, I gotchu. Here’s to taking it day by day and doing the best you can.

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